Past - a non-existing moment

I am fighting against the past. The more I get aware of what happened for me to stand in such a world the more weak I feel. I can't change anything that took place in our history. I can't save all those slaves from their captivity, I can't rescue Anne Frank from those concentration camps, I can't help the women that burned to die in that factory.

We are nothing... and that's not because we die - actually dying is a libertation. We are stuck in this unfair time with this noisy memory and empty dreams for the future. What am I going to do now? Which now? Life is a complete abandon with shameful pictures of a non-existing moment. And I am here... just to be no longer where I am, and I want to be there just to be aware that I am not. What is the point of being eternal? This would be a huge abism in which my identity would be flushed.