TO YOU, THANK YOU!

To write what I am gonna write here, I must admit that I had to do somewhat deeper research to locate where your poem was. Although we had been separated from each other at that time, you thanked me in the poem for having met me and why not say, loved me? Your poem was written on June 16, 2019, and the title was: “A você, obrigada”.

Therefore, today I decided to use that poem of yours and say something to you in return for the favor and for the caring words you used, although I must admit I do not deserve them at all for having said goodbye to you. I must also tell you that there was only one person in my life who was able to make me feel loved like you did. But I was too young to really believe it was a mature love by a man like me.

I also thank heavens for having met someone like you among thousands of poetesses because you taught me again to feel what a true love felt like and you made me believe life was worth living when we love someone like you. You showed me the most beautiful rhymes, poems, sonnets, and poetry I had ever read and enjoyed in my whole life of writing poems for many years of my academic life. Our loving partnership writing duets together at the wee hours of the night was more than lovely, it was divine, blessed and allowed by our GOD ALMIGHTY.

Please forgive me for the harsh and offensive words I wrote and used against you some months ago. I was out of my mind and anything I may say now will sound weird and non-sense to you, but I am saying them from the bottom of my heart, in my hearts of hearts I feel extremely sorry for all I said to you that day.

I am not at all exaggerating when I write I don’t have much longer to live on this earth. Parents have gone, 1 nephew and 2 sisters are also deceased. But I hasten to add that I do believe in our encounter in heavens (I’ll leave this earth much earlier than you and I will be waiting for you and for our long conversation up there). Rest assured your JESUS and mine will never perform a “brain wash” on us and you will remember everything we had down here but without sinning or having sinful thoughts. The encounter will be more than wonderful, it’s gonna be miraculous like everything JESUS does for me and you which, most of the time, we do not understand at all because GOD works in mystery.

The time we spent together for some years was magic and special, I had had the time of my life, although we had a hiatus of 2 years away from each other, without seeing each other or having a chat with each other. Forgive me, it was a hard time for myself since I had lost my daddy back then, I was changing jobs and cities, time away from my children who I love so dearly. Now it’s “your turn” to say “no” because you need a time for yourself and you need to be alone. I am now resigned in accepting this situation since we don’t get along with each other anymore and it’s a time when resentment and hurt have set in. I understand it very well. The departure from each other was a necessity. I understand and accept it now, although I still love you as much as I did back in 2017, when love was at its highest moment. I thought I going to become crazy because sometimes I found myself crying on the streets for your love and for the moments I was going through in my life. But it seems it's all over now and we must get over each other again so that our lives take different paths and at the end of those paths we are gonna find someone who really cares for us and can substitute for everything we have lost.

TO YOU, THANK YOU!