The Mirror

I love the feeling of hunger...

when I starve it.

and it lays neglected within me.

I love finding myself closer to perfection

every time I forget to eat.

and I stop on the scale.

I love looking in the mirror

when I can see myself getting thinner.

and my bones are becoming visible.

and I hate the reflection even more

every time I look.

and I see the truth.

I see imperfection.

I see flaws.

I see regret and regret and regret.

and a mistake.

I am a mistake.

but maybe..maybe I can make myself worthwhile

I can reach perfection

I can let go of ugly things

like my appearance.. like this idiocy of my mind

I can grow

I can reach perfection

but I'm not sure how much longer I can last

whenever I look in the mirror

or step on the scale.

the voice within me screams at me

and tells me I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm hideous

why would anyone ever love me?

why?

why am I even here?

I'm useless.

I am a mistake.

I am a mistake.

I am a failure.

the mirror tells me so.