The biggest monster (which I've raised and I've feeded...)

My life seems so senseless...

I always wanted to be lonely somewhere...

But today it feels like I am afraid of

Loneliness...

And that I have nobody...

Not even myself.

There is no love, no money, and no freedom

That can make me really happy.

Happiness time has gone...

And it is time for me to be alone.

Feel all dark. Like beside me there are only the shadows.

Shoulders and head down...

Ashamed for what I have done.

Ashamed for what I should have done,

But I didn't.

Ashamed for so many changes I could

Have made inside me....

I could have become a better person.

I had all chances I needed.

And I do not think I deserve another chance.

All cards were given to me...

But I did not take any.

I just did not really want that.

I still feel lonely...

Lost in my thoughts...

Eating and drinking my guilt and my sins.

More than never...

I am ashamed of what I have become...

And I feel like I don't know the way back...

I am a monster.

With no feelings,

No love, no charity, no humility...

Lord, please, help me...

I don't want this body.

I don't want this life.

I no longer wanna be me.

I no longer wanna be...