What is wrong with me?

Es geht mir nicht so gut. Não, não mesmo. Sometimes I wanna hide myself forever. I don't wanna talk to my friends. I feel I'm not good being friend. I don't know what to say every single day. I'm full of it. I can't pretend anymore. I don't wanna smile while my heart is broken. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just for a minute be different of me?