Scrubb Mirror III (19.8.2020)

19.08.2020

I was drivin' home

sunday night empty streets

40 mph and then 50

"I'd try everything"

on the Radio

Bright's mother tongue

As I turn up the volume

To the maximum

Remembering

summer days at the pool

when you dove

and I catched my breath

For just an instant

Wondering if you never

emerged from the waters

A breathless despair

But lip marks on the beer glass

Your wet towel on the ground

Opened bag, stained cloths from yesterday

Grapes seeds on plastic plate, never the grass

golden leaves in your watery footsteps

Proved me wrong

You were there

Later that summer

Night

My shadow entered the pool

glommily drowning into the dark waves

Grayish black skeletons

of marigolds bending backwards over dry grass, no poetry, no metaphor in these words

Only my big dark shadow, a horrifying light-eater

The macabre dancer playing the devil’s trade, nothing too insane, just the emptiness in marine blue, the swimming pool and my silhouette, submerged somber shade, my double

proved me right

You weren’t there

I sped up to 55, 20 min home

3 summers away

Empty passenger seat

you were no siren nor a deity

that could emerge from my memories

to call me “So-Hi”

The name you chose in your language

for me, as you later explained my smile was

like sequins on summer party nights

I was mesmerized by your eyes

and while you lay on me, I dedicated hours in your gaze

So I could shape all their details and learn by heart

how different from mine they were, flat and deep

Even if sometimes people call me Japanese

I think a lot while I drive, neon asphalt

Green, yellow, red lights,

as if speed makes love to my memories, a therapist

You never left me, the music won't let you

I was happy and I am still

After all, how could I forgive the one who tough me

the delicate pleasure of walking?